I’ve never been the best at capturing meaning in a story. That is unless it’s obvious. I’m not one of those people who can read between the lines. Symbolism seems to go right over my head. This makes me especially bad at understanding poetry. I read poems by these Modernist writers and have no clue what it is about. After reading “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” I was no closer to understanding what it was about than before I read it. It is so frustrating. I know that Prufrock is a bad example because even people with English degrees debate it’s meaning. But I’m like that with almost all reading. Today, while reading “The Wilde Swans at Coole,” I could see what was happening on the surface but nothing else. And I KNOW there is more to the poem than what the words literally mean. That is what makes it a modern poem. It’s meaning is supposed to be allusive. I have in my notes that there were 59 swans, it was October, and it had been 19 years since he first came to count the swans. There is more meaning to it but I wasn’t able to see it until I googled “The Wilde Swans at Coole analysis.” I don’t see symbolism and I’m not sure if that is because that is just who I am and how my brain works or if I have never been taught how to see it. I remember reading Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants” and being completely clueless. Once it is pointed out to me, I can understand. When someone said it was likely about abortion, I immediately saw the symbols. But coming to a conclusion like that on my own has yet to happen.
These days the only books that get read are textbooks and it is no secret that those are straightforward. There is no symbolism in a textbook. I can read a textbook and soak up a wealth of knowledge. But hand me a poem and I’m stumped. So I feel as thought I’m learning how to read. Reading intensively as Dr. Williams would say. I’ve already picked up a few tricks thanks to his craft quizzes. I’m taking notes of the things I notice when I read and looking up words that I don’t know the exact meaning of like “sensual.” Right now, I’m reading “Sailing to Byzantium” and the line
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect.
I know there is some meaning in that. I’m sitting here thinking of what it could be. I’ve been wondering for about five minutes now and I’m growing frustrated with my inability to figure it out. I know that (after looking it up) sensual can be defined as: “occupied with gratification of the senses” or basically all about pleasing your senses. And intellect is being neglected. But what does it all mean! Maybe I’m overanalyzing it. I guess I won’t find out until I google it.
I hope something clicks over this semester.
