Talking to Shinhye and her brother Yosep (just learned how to spell it finally) is becoming more of a joy. We met on Wednesday and the conversation flowed naturally for the first time.
Yosep had prepared a presentation for me on South Korea since I know absolutely nothing about it besides the fact that is it under North Korea. He was very disappointed when his computer wouldn’t work so he ended up having to save it for another day. But it was still interesting to see a Korean computer. The keyboard was both qwerty and Korean. All the files were named with Korean letters. I feel like sometimes American’s think that everything is in English and I’m guilty of getting caught up in that so it was nice reminder that people who speak other languages don’t have to learn English just to have a computer.
Shinhye asked me to explain “American polite” to her. I have never truly thought about the customs that we have in America, or even Texas to be more specific, and how they are radically different from those in other countries. Yosep made a comment that everyone here is so kind to him. I told him that we like to call that “Southern Charm.” In South Korea, if you bump in to someone you continue walking so Yosep said that he was extremely caught off guard when he bumped into someone on campus and they stopped and said they were sorry. I tried to give him some lessons on how to be a gentleman. We practiced saying that word, “gentleman,” together. In South Korea, every person opens the door for his or her self. I told him that in some areas of America, that is also the custom, but in the South especially, boys should hold the door open for girls. This he had already learned though. He was surprised when I told him that the same concept works for the elevator. You press the buttons and offer to press buttons for everyone else. It was heartwarming how thankful he was that I was letting him in on these “secrets.” He wants so badly to fit in to American culture and needs to be taught to do the things that we don’t even recognize we do.
Some principles are more universal than others. For instance, Shinhye already knew that when you eat, you chew with your mouth closed but she didn’t realize that eating with your hands was considered somewhat primitive. I tried not to get overly formal with her but she was eager to know everything I had to offer. I told her that when she eats with a friend or friends, she should not begin eating until everyone has their food, and never rush a meal along by eating quickly. Dining with people is about being social, no satisfying hunger. Yosep pointed out that in South Korea, when you are walking down the street and you see someone you know, you keep walking. I find that so odd. I told him that in America, if you do not say hello to someone you know, even if it is just in passing, you will be considered very rude. I personally would be offended or think someone was mad at me if they did not say hello. It feels awkward to me to just walk right by someone I know without smiling or saying a word. That was the advice they found most helpful.
Yosep and Shinhye are growing on me. They text me everyday and tell me to have a good day and that they pray for me. I see a level of eagerness and sincerity that I don’t see in a lot of other people.
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